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September 09 Graduation SpeechA few days ago my English 411 professor gave us an assignment to write some sort of ceremonial speech. The only things I could think of that would be interesting were either a eulogy or a graduation speech. Since I'm not one for downers, I picked the grad speech. I'm also a very relaxed and irreverent kind of person. When you add in the fact that I'm never actually going to give this speech, I decided not to edit my speech to make it more politically correct. I said what came naturally, and I tried to personalize it to the graduating class. In hindsight, the humor came across as a little more negative than I intended it to be. Without further ado, I give you my hypothetical 3-6 minute graduation speech. Graduation Speech
Ladies and Gentlemen of the Hubert Zemke class: congratulations. Many people like to be inspirational in their graduation speeches, but I’m not one for that Hallmark stuff. The only thing I know to say is that our hard work has paid off. Unfortunately for all of you, I’ve got another five minutes to fill so I had to think of something. We’ve all heard the quote that USAFA is the last place you’d ever want to be, but the first place you’d ever want to be from. I guess that means that our lives just got a lot better. But for those of you that know me, you probably know that I like to be just a bit of an odd ball. So on this day when all of you are excited to finally get out of here, I’d like to reflect on a few things that are truly great about the academy. The first great thing is how the academy teaches you leadership. I know that right now some of you are rolling your eyes, but I believe that the academy is truly amazing at showing you what not to do. Without naming specific people, I’m sure we have all seen examples of toxic leadership. What makes the academy great is the prevalence of these types of leaders. As cadets, we learn leadership through examples, as well as trial and error. We are given the chance to screw up horribly before the consequences are too serious, and we do it among people who are likely to forgive us. People say the academy is broken because cadets are so cynical and hard to control. I say that this is exactly how we know the academy is working. The day that cadets are on time to everything and happy about it, is the day that someone is in charge who knows what they’re doing. When that person is in charge nobody is learning leadership, because the only way to learn is through trial and error… mainly error. If nothing else, we have seen four years of how not to do things. We’ve had a chance to get that error out of the way so hopefully we’ll stop screwing up before those ROTC and OTS guys. The second thing I love, is that now we get to start out stories with: “Back when it was hard…” When we showed up, the class of 2006 was excited to finally give someone a four degree year like they had. Since 07 and 08 had missed out on the fun, we got triple. Our class witnessed the return of recognition, and I believe that we were the only freshman class that really got to “feel the fire.” Once during my freshman year I found myself talking to some students at Colorado College. They asked what an average day was like, and when I explained they looked on in amazement like I was superhuman. Another amazing thing about USAFA is that by comparison, our next assignment is going to be amazing. It’s pretty hard to get people looking forward to 12 hour work days, but the Air Force has found a way. Unfortunately for cadets the way is to cram people into tight living quarters and drop a 16 hour workday on them. Oh by the way, half of your weekends will be scheduled for you too. The requirements of your job will change every week, and you office will be your home. You’ll have six instructors, an AOC, and a cadet chain of command. Every single one of them will think they’re the only important thing in your life. You can still get grounded, you can still get time-out, and you’ll live in a zoo where six hours of sleep is an optimistic goal. To move on to a more serious note, I also love that I’ve gotten to spend four years with some of the highest caliber people in America. While civilian college students were experimenting with drugs and alcohol, we have been experimenting with baja racers, satellites, ground-breaking lasers, and the occasional balsa wood. Many of us have already been involved in multi-million dollar research programs, and at one point we have all directly trusted our lives to another cadet. In BCT our classmates swung us out over the edge of the Tiltin’ Hilton multiple stories above the ground. During soaring, we trust our cadet IP to save our butts if we enter a flat spin or a turning stall. During jump, we trust a cadet to teach us the procedures that will save our lives if something goes wrong with our parachute, and later we trust that cadet to hold onto us as we hang out the side of a plane going over 100 miles per hour. Distinguished visitors: I apologize for not introducing you each by name; but with all due respect, this is not your time. This is our time. Today is all about the class of 2009. After four years, I think we’ve earned it. Ladies and gentlemen of the class of 2009, you rock. I am proud to have known you and I am proud to graduate with you. **Broken thumbs and drug barons still to come September 01 Broken, Beaten Down, and Still BreathingWhat is your life for you right now? A seemingly
simple question, yet a complex one. It's direct and if answered honestly,
the answer is often scary. It seems that so much of our time, we take
comfort in the idea that life will be better tomorrow; that this trial is
making us a better person; that God has a plan. Is comfort really what
you need though? I've stopped sharing my troubles and concerns with most
people because too often the answer is something to the effect of "When
life gives you lemons, make lemonade." I don't know if this works
for other people, but it generally seems to cheapen the present moment to
me. Life is made up of a collection of instants. If I refuse to
accept this instant for what it is, I feel like I'm refusing to accept my life. August 30 Jewish visitThe other day, I decided to go to a Jewish service. I did this partly because I’m in a comparative religion class which requires its students to visit services of faiths they’re not familiar with. I also did this partly because I’m just curious. A lot of the Jewish people I’ve met seem really friendly, and I’ve always gotten the impression that Judaism was a very devoted religion. I guess it may have helped that I knew the Rabbi fairly well, and he seems like a really nice person. I had always thought that I knew what Judaism was all about. I was raised Catholic and we dealt with the Old Testament every service. I always just figured that Catholicism grew as an offshoot of Judaism so they should be pretty similar. I expected that the Jewish service would be pretty similar to a Catholic mass, except for the readings from the New Testament and communion. I was in for quite a surprise. As I walked up to the synagogue, a couple greeted me with “Shabbat Shalom.” I was caught a bit off guard because I’m not used to hearing Hebrew. After I told them that it was my first time attending a Jewish service, they explained that Shabbat Shalom simply means “Peaceful Sabbath” and that it’s a traditional Jewish greeting. While we were talking, I took the opportunity to ask the couple if there was anything special I needed to know so I wouldn’t offend anybody. They told me that I should put on a yamaka, but that I didn’t really need to know anything else. I was surprised that the Rabbi didn’t seem to perform a very active role in the service. He mainly handled introductions and told people what was coming next. Most of the readings were led by ordinary people who regularly attended the service. I was also surprised to see that all of the readings were in Hebrew. Since I don’t know any Hebrew, I followed along using the English translation in the prayer book. I noticed that all of the prayers seemed to have a very calm tone. Rather than asking God for what you want, the theology seemed to focus on praising God and trusting him to take care of you. The difference is a subtle one, but sets a hugely different attitude. The impression that I got of the Jewish mindset is one of selflessness. The Christian prayers that I’ve said and heard over the years have usually focused on asking God for support, while the Jewish prayers that I saw that night focused on complete devotion to God and gratitude for his work. Another thing that I noticed was the strong sense of community. When the Rabbi spoke to the congregation, he emphasized the unity amongst all Jews. After the service, we all shared dinner and I took the opportunity to listen to what a few of the congregants had to say about their practice: “There’s an important difference between Christian families and Jewish families. In a Christian family, when the kids hit 18, their mother says ‘I think it’s time for you to get your own place.’ In a Jewish family, when the kids are 25 they say ‘I think it’s time I for me to get my own place.’ and their mother asks why her house isn’t good enough anymore.” That was probably the most memorable thing that I heard all night. While the Jewish woman who said it was joking, it still emphasized the unity and sense of community that I noticed. I think the purpose of holding the service in Hebrew was partly to express their ties to the other Jewish communities all over the world. While I don’t think one can really understand a religion without practicing it for a while, I feel like I understand Judaism a lot better than I did before. I no longer think of it as a truncated version of Christianity, and I think I’ve begun to understand the very giving attitude that I notice from Jewish people I know. I’m very glad that I attended this service, and in a way I feel closer to everyone else who was at the service that evening. ***Coming Soon: Broken thumbs and drug barons. June 07 When I DieI don't expect to die any time soon, but I figure that a lot of people who die don't really see it coming. I figure that whenever I kick the bucket, I might as well have a note of my intentions left behind for whoever has to wrap up whatever loose ends I leave behind. There's really no particular reason that I decided to write this tonight, it's just a thought that has occurred to me a number of times and this time I decided to follow through with it. I don't really feel like going to a lawyer and drafting up anything official, so I imagine that if I die before doing so my next of kin will have to figure things out. So I guess this is a guide for them and sticking it on the internet might make it a little easier to find. My body: If I end up a vegetable in a hospital bed with little chance of recovery, pull the plug within a month. If I haven't made a recovery by then, I probably won't at all. There's no point in postponing the inevitable in that situation, and my body could be useful for other purposes. I'm an organ donor for a reason. I don't expect that I'll have much use for a body once it's dead, so if any part of my body can be used to help anybody out to any degree, they can have it. If there's anything left and it can be of any value for scientific research, that'd be great. If there's no scientific application, I guess you might as well burn whatever is left and toss it in the garden. To me, the body has no value once the spirit has left it. I mentioned cremation because I think it's the cheapest way to get rid of a person's remains. If it's cheaper to bury me, do it. I don't want any more money than is necessary wasted on my death. I don't think I have life insurance right now because I don't have any dependents. You can sell my stuff and use the proceeds with whatever savings I have to cover funeral expenses. If there isn't enough money, do a cheaper funeral. I don't just say this because I'm habitually frugal, but because I see too many ways that the money could be better spent. Which brings me to the next topic. My assets: Obviously I won't need my stuff once I'm dead. If I'm married and/or have any dependents when I pass, they can take their pick of all my stuff and keep what they want. Then my parents and sister. Sell the rest and give my wife/dependents the money. If I die single, my parents/sister can take their pick of my stuff and sell the rest. Use some of the money to cover all my (hopefully small) funeral expenses and tie up any financial loose ends I leave behind. Whatever is left, I'd like to give half to the USAFA Buddhist Sangha for use at their discretion. How the funds are used should be decided by a vote between the group's leader and anybody who's been attending services for 6 months or more. I'd like the other half to go to kiva.org because they're the most awesome charitable organization I know of. Friends and Family: If anybody feels like sending flowers, don't. Instead, make a contribution to some organization you believe in. Do it in my name if it makes you feel better, but don't waste it on aesthetic crap when it could be used to help people. I hope everyone I care about knows how I feel about them. Chances are good that if I've met you, I love you and care about you. If I've wronged you in any way, I'm sorry. Sendoff: I think I've already made it clear that I want a cheap funeral. If I was there to plan it, I'd put my ashes in a coffee can and have the service in someone's garage. If you care about me, you won't need something fancy to say goodbye. If you don't care about me, you probably shouldn't be at my funeral. Anybody there who feels like saying anything should be allowed to do so, even if they want to say how much of a bastard I was. The only thing I ask is that whoever speaks is respectful to the other people there, and don't put words in my mouth. I'd like the service to be either a Buddhist or Unitarian Universalist one. Since I don't really consider myself a theistic person, I don't think it would be fitting to have a theistic funeral. Sorry if that all seems a bit morbid. I'm happy with the way my life is going so far and don't want to die anytime soon; however, I'm also at peace with the way things are and the eventuality of death. I only write all of this because I would hate for my death to cause unnecessary suffering by forcing people to guess at what I would have wanted. What I want is to let my death help as many people as possible. I don't want emotions or religion to stand in the way of helping even one person no matter how minimally. We're all going to die, I figure that death might as well serve a constructive purpose. April 14 My Fall From GraceI've been thinking about the whole religion thing a lot
lately. Right now I consider myself a Buddhist. I've been
practicing Buddhism for a little over a year now and it feels right for
me. When I first stumbled on it, I realized that it was just a religion
that matched up with what I already believed. I've maintained a curiosity
about religion for quite some time now and I've learned quite a bit in my
research. I've gotten into quite a few religious debates and I've gotten
to the point where I don't really enjoy them anymore. I think I've heard
the major points on each side of the argument and people tend not to listen
when you're disagreeing with them on the foundation of their life and belief
system. I still enjoy religious discussions, where both parties are just
legitimately interested in the other person's viewpoint and neither is trying
to convert or "save" the other. That's not what I want to write
about right now though. I'd like to talk about my slow digression from
Christianity. This was actually a great thing for my religious strength. Since I came to the Air Force Academy, I started off with basic training. For those who have been through basic training, you know that it can be a rough time. Many people have their faith strengthened during this time because it can be very helpful to turn to a god for emotional and spiritual support. I’d like to clarify here: nobody at the academy pushed religion on me. Basic training was just a rough time and I felt personally like I needed God’s help. Unfortunately, that effect began fading even before the end of basic training. During my freshmen year, I continued to struggle to keep my faith. I kept praying for better understanding, stronger faith, and all that jazz. I don’t think I gave up on God until some time around the end of my freshman year. It was terrifying for me to take that giant leap from faith, but I basically figured that there was one of three possibilities. The first possibility was that God didn’t exist. I felt that the evidence leaned this way. The second possibility was that God did exist and being the benevolent, omniscient, omnipotent being that he was, he would understand not believing in him considering the evidence. The last possibility was that God would not forgive a lack of faith. If this was the case, that meant that God would condemn many people who I thought were “good” people. If God was so egocentric that he would damn people just for not having blind faith, he didn’t seem like someone I’d want to spend eternity with. So now I was left with three possible explanations of God, none of which inclined me to believe in him. So around the beginning of my sophomore year, I felt essentially atheistic or agnostic. Releasing my futile clinging to a dead faith, I actually felt a lot better. It was incredibly freeing to let go of this. Now despite having lost my religion, I kept reading the Bible because I still wanted to finish it. I finished it right around the end of my sophomore year. Since this shift, my belief in God has not changed. I don’t deny other people’s right to believe in something that I’ve fallen away from. However, if they try to convert me after I’ve asked them to stop, I’m going to get pissed. There are still some funny things though. Even though I don’t believe there would be any “sin” associated with “taking God’s name in vain” or colloquially, “dropping the GD” I don’t feel comfortable saying it. In my life, I have never said it…ever. It seems strange to me that as an atheist/agnostic I don’t say GD while some of my very devout Christian friends aren’t bothered by its use enough to stop themselves. I’m not trying to say that I’m a better person, but it’s interesting to point out. January 22 Desoto Woodgraining Pattern I just posted some info at desoto.org about woodgraining so I figured I'd post a picture of the final product here. http://desoto.org/index.php?name=PNphpBB2&file=viewtopic&t=2363&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=15 for the discussion on woodgraining January 18 Buddhism and Car is at the Academy I'll start with the important stuff. My car handled a highway trip just fine. Last Sunday, I decided to drive my car up to school from Pueblo. I think my parents and I were all pretty nervous because my car had never endured highway speeds for longer than 5 minutes before. One thing that I did before the trip, was change the oil. I'm really glad that I did. I wasn't too concerned about it because the guy who I bought it from said that he changed the oil when he got it. I didn't think that he had driven it very much so I didn't expect it to need an oil change, but I figured that I didn't know exactly how much he had driven it, so I'd err on the side of caution. When I yoinked the plug on the crankcase, the oil that came out was black as night, but that wasn't much of a surprise. I also thought that I saw a few flecks of metal or something in it. Bad signs, but not surprises. The surprise came when I went to change the oil filter. It's a different style of filter than most modern cars have now; it's a cartridge that sits inside a permanent metal can. Well, the metal can was stuck shut because it had been left closed for far too long. And the filter cartridge was a rusted chunk of crap. Yeah, that's right, rusted. Iron doesn't rust when it's sitting in oil, so obviously this filter had been in there from the time when this car was sitting in someone's barn or field with the oil slowly leaking out of it for years on end. This filter was probably older than me. That was disappointing because the guy I bought the car from seemed to know better than to change the oil and leave the old filter. After removing the filter I found years and years worth of engine sludge and metal shavings inside the canister. Again, a bad sign but not a surprise. I did some extensive cleanup work and tracked down a new oil filter (I love NAPA), then filled the green machine with fresh oil. When I started her up, she seemed to run a little smoother, a little quieter, and produce a bit more power. I even gained about 20 psi of oil pressure. It just goes to show that a little maintenance will pay off big time. The car held its own pretty darn well on the drive up here, even though it was working against a big time altitude change and a pretty constant 75 mph it did a great job. I'm proud of my car. At first I stopped every ten minutes or so to do a quick walk-around and make sure that nothing was blatantly wrong. But after doing that 3 times without finding anything, I decided to plug along and did just fine for the next 50 miles or so. Thank you car. Now on the issue of spirituality. I've had a few people mention to me lately that they believe Buddhists are pacifists, and that there seems to be a conflict between that and a military life. I can't claim to speak for anybody except myself, but this issue has come up quite a bit during our discussions at services. Now while I'm sure there are some Buddhists who undertake a pacifist lifestyle, that's not generally a necessity for Buddhism as I understand it. I don't think there are many people who would argue that you don't have a right to defend yourself and others. Nonetheless, one of the grave precepts of Buddhism (similar to the commandments) is the vow of not killing. Obviously, a military profession is not the most effective way to prevent yourself from killing others. But as a Buddhist, you take responsibility for the well-being of every sentient being. So if I allow somebody to be killed, I still hold myself responsible for that death. Now is the rough part. By taking responsibility for that death, I take away any chance I have of making "the right" decision in that situation. If I have the choice of killing one person, or letting him kill other people, I will be a killer no matter what I do. My choices are to do a wrong thing by letting him kill, or do a wrong thing by killing him. I'm left to choose the lesser of two evils, or the best mistake. If I sit back and absolve yourself of guilt by not taking action, I am being selfish. I am removing my guilt by shirking responsibility just so I can feel better about myself. How can I justify killing as a Buddhist? I can't. Like it or not, ethics are complex. To believe that there will always be a clear right and wrong is naive. Sometimes, people will just have to bite the bullet and make the best of a bad situation. January 07 Another Car Update and WhatnotI just got back from Christmas break and I had a great time let me tell ya. I had three weeks off for winter leave. I spent most of those tinkering with my car and laying around the house. The car is working well and my dad tinkered with it a bit so now all four gears work. The only remaining problem is that there's no kickdown control for the transmission. This is just a throttle-activated switch that will drop the transmission down in gear if you push the gas in while you're in a high gear. As is, my car is driveable and I can take it on the road just fine, but that kickdown switch will allow me to accelerate a lot quicker while I'm merging and stuff like that. My dad also built an adapter plate to let me mount a CD player in the dash using the space where the old AM radio's speaker went. Since we changed over the whole electrical system (6 volt positive ground to 12 volt negative ground) I can't think of any way to hook up the old AM radio/speaker anyway. Now I've got a CD player with four speakers which will be very nice. I didn't go with anything too fancy because it's such an old car that it would probably be easy to break into. It also didn't seem right to put a monster system in such a classy old car. I'm sure you can visualize a 1952 DeSoto cruising along with throbbing subwoofers shaking the car apart. Yeah, it just isn't right. My neighbor also came by and installed the headliner. Or tried to. It turns out that the headliner he made is a bit too big. One section specifically seems to be the culprit. I'm thinking that he'll just have to trim a few inches out of that one section, re-sew it, and it'll fit like a glove. So I'm frustrated that the upholstery still isn't done. Originally he told me that it should take about 5 or 6 weeks. He's been working on it now for over four months. I think that he's frustrated that he's not done too. Alas, it shouldn't be a surprise really because he's a beginner to interior work and he's doing the work for less than I would pay a regular upholstery shop. I guess those shops take a long time too so looking at the big picture I think I'm coming out pretty even. I was going to drive my car back from break but he told me that if I leave my car there, he can finish it this week. I would really love to go back home this weekend and find my car totally upholstered, with seats, carpet, headliner and all. On the upside, I put in the doorpanels that he made for me and they look really good. The tan color of the cloth works really well with the brown and woodgrain color of the dash and trim pieces. I've also been working on repairing my steering wheel. It's a metal core that was originally covered with a sort of plastic resin. Well over 56 years, a lot of the plastic broke off and what's left is cracked and brittle. I was going to try covering it with polymer clay, which I think would look really neat. Sadly, when I tested some of the steering wheel resin, I found out that I can't bake it, so the clay option is out. What I'm trying now is some body filler. Traditionally it's used to help smooth out small dings and scratches in the body of a car. I figured it might work pretty well for building a steering wheel so I've applied a few coats and sanded and shaped it until it's got the shape I think I want for the spokes. Then I'm going to try to use some rubber hose to get the right thickness for the wheel part. Next, I'm either going to use fiberglass to cover the rubber hose and paint it, or just get a steering wheel cover. I'll have to think on that for a while I guess. Over break my parents also decided to send my sister and I to Cancun for a few days. They said that it's getting hard to shop for us so they decided to get us a trip. We didn't actually stay in Cancun, we stayed on Isla Mujeres which is a little island off the coast of Cancun. It was a nice opportunity to lounge around on some beaches. There's not a whole lot to do there, which is fine by me because I'm more of a beach bum anyway. When I did travel through the island's city area, it was like a small tropical version of Pueblo. I had a good time, but if I was going to do it again, I wouldn't bother checking out any of the island's attractions, I'd just hang out on the beach a lot. So there's an update for those of you that I haven't talked to lately. Here are a few pictures of my car's progress. Hopefully, I'll be able to post some final pictures within a week. November 27 Car is a running driving breathing machineThought you might like to know that I have gotten my car running and driving. In fact, I spent most of yesterday afternoon driving it around town. Between fiddling with the clutch, choke, brake, gas, steering wheel, and shifter all at once it stalled on me a few times and it's going to need some work. I felt kinda like I was learning to drive stick all over again, but this time was a lot harder. Imagine learning to drive stick, but you have to double clutch when you shift. Now imagine that along with the fact that reverse, 1st, and 2nd are all in the same place. Yeah, you have to shift out of first, then back into the same place for second. Throw in some uncooperative blinkers and an engine that doesn't want to idle at the right speed and you've got a recipe for fun. It'll need some work before I can drive up to springs and keep it at school. For example, it will be nice if we can get it to shift into fourth gear so I can go over 50 mph. It's nice though to be at a point where I can actually drive my project. I love the way it looks even though I still have a few pieces of chrome to put on and all of the upholstery left to install. We'll see how it goes. Here are a few pictures for you. October 25 Car's grille mounted and some thoughts about the academy I'm totally psyched (pardon the 90's throwback) because I finally have the grille mounted on my car. And in the case of a 1952 DeSoto, the grille is the defining trait of the car. A lot of Mercury guys like to buy DeSoto grilles to mount on their "leadsleds" because it's just that awesome of a grille. It has all of it's shiny teeth that just look amazing and if you can't tell I'm really excited to finally see it on my car after being replated. Bit by bit, the car seems to be coming together and I'm pumped to finally drive it. Now to completely break up any sort of continuity I figured I'd go on about something that's been on my mind a bit lately. Since I've been at this school, I've literally trusted people with my life quite a few times. These people were other cadets. During basic training, one of the obstacles on one of the courses we did was called the "Tiltin Hilton" and it can be rather spooky if you're afraid of heights. Beyond being spooky, it can also be very dangerous if you do it wrong. The obstacle is basically a bunch of platforms stacked on top of each other. You have to get to the top by throwing your team mates up to the next level, then they throw you and so on. If someone does it wrong, you could end up plummeting a few stories to either death or significant injury. It's strange to think that I did this with a bunch of people that I had only known for about a month. I was responsible for their lives as they were for mine. It's even crazier when you think that the whole thing was organized, briefed, and monitored by other cadets. I still haven't heard of anyone ever getting hurt on that obstacle. Another time that comes to mind is when I did the parachuting program after my freshman year. I met a few other people in my class and we were all taught by a cadet how to jump out of planes and live. If that junior on the parachuting team didn't know her stuff down pat, I could easily have ended up getting tangled in my parachute's lines and falling a few thousand feet to become a pancake. But she knew her stuff, and she knew how to teach it. She taught us how to stay stable in the air so that our parachute would deploy properly to save our lives. Because she taught us so well, I wasn't even nervous my first time up. I had complete confidence in the capabilities of the USAFA parachuting team. I trusted them with my life and it rocked. The final example that's fresh in my mind is the glider program here. You hop into a tiny little glider with no parachute and a tow plane takes you up a few thousand feet in the air and lets you go. There are plenty of things that can go wrong, rope breaks, stalls, glider malfunctions, and if your instructor doesn't know how to handle those issues you can both die. Add to that the fact that the student doesn't know what they're doing at first and that means that the instructor has to know exactly what you're likely to screw up. Not only do they have to know what's going wrong and how to fix it, they have to know which approach to take depending on altitude and the plane's orientation. It's kinda like doing trust falls, except that instead of a half dozen people ready to catch you, there's one. And instead of falling a few feet over some grass, you jump out of a building over a spike pit. Trusting my life to my peers is almost commonplace to me now. I don't expect that most people around here think about that very much, but having that kind of trust in the people around you and their abilities really says something about this school. It's one of those subtle, yet significant things that makes me love it here. September 10 ElanoreI know this might seem kinda random but last Saturday, I had quite an amazing experience. I got to ride Elanore's grand-daughter. That's not as dirty as it sounds though. By Elanore, I mean the Shelby GT 500 from Gone in 60 Seconds and her grand-daughter is a brand new 2008 Shelby GT 500 with 500 horses under the hood. Believe it or not, a friend of mine recently got one and I got to tag along with him while he took it out for a spin. He didn't do anything too crazy because he had just gotten it and the roads were wet. If I had that car, I'd definitely get myself into trouble, so I guess it's a good thing that it's his car instead. I'll just have to bum rides off of him a lot so I can spend some quality time with his car. September 05 Whole Car Painted!!I guess that pretty much sums it up. It's starting to look like I'll have it done around Thanksgiving break. August 28 Car Roof Painted !!!Last weekend, I finally got some paint on my car. My dad and I painted the roof and it came out awesomely. I got a really light creamy green color for the top and I'm going with a medium tone of green for the bottom. I painted the base coat, or the color on the top. Then my dad put the clear coat on top of that to make it really nice and shiny. There are a few spots in the paint where a spec of dust or a gnat landed in it, but we didn't have many. My dad says that whenever you paint a car, you always get a few specs in the finish and this paintjob doesn't have very many. Also on the up side, neither of us put any runs in it. When I painted the inside, there are a few spots where I put the paint on too thick and got some drizzles, but most of the paint on the inside will be covered up anyway so it's no biggie. Hopefully next weekend I can finish up some sanding and finally spray the rest of the car with the final color! Maybe, I can even start hooking up the new wiring and re-assembling the rest of the car. After that I'll just get it upholstered and slap some tires on it, then drive the beauty around. I'm even starting to think about dropping a V-8 in it next summer but I guess we'll see how that goes. School's also been going pretty well. Pretty busy, but pretty well nonetheless. I'm an element leader which means that I'm responsible for keeping track of 8 other people. So far it doesn't seem too bad, but I've got to make sure that my freshmen stay up to speed on their military knowledge. Depending on what other stuff we're doing, I'm sometimes responsible for organizing exercises and making sure that everyone completes whatever training they need to do. I also signed up to work a program called reconditioning or Recondo for short. I basically keep track of people on athletic probation and run them through workouts to help them get in better shape. It's a pretty time consuming job because we meet three times a week for about 2 hours each day. I like it though because it's got a very tangible purpose and outcome. My third job is standardization/evaluation NCO, which means I'm partly responsible for grading knowledge tests and inspecting rooms. I didn't expect that job to be much of a time commitment but last night it surprised me with a couple hours of grading. I think I'm going to drop stan/eval because 3 jobs on top of being a physics major is taking a lot of time. This is the first significant chunk of free time that I've had during the week since the semester started. I guess it's my fault anyway because I also go to two religious groups each week. I go to the Buddhist group because I've noticed that it helps me calm down, and approach situations more appropriately. It also helps me understand myself and others better. New this year, I've been going to a Neo-Pagan meeting each week too. They had a stand set up at a barbecue a few weeks ago and I checked it out because it was the only religion I didn't know anything about. I don't particularly subscribe to any of it, but it's very interesting to learn about unfamiliar religions. I'm not sure how long I'll keep going, maybe until they've told me everything they've got to say or maybe it'll just stick like the Buddhist group did. Right now I'm the only cadet who shows up so I get one-on-one edification which is nice, but I almost feel like I'm wasting their time. I guess they want to run the group and having one person show up each time justifies running the group long enough for other folks to come. It's funny after being raised in a church that taught the trinity as the only way to salvation, to learn that most other religions are pretty much the same. For the most part, they all seem to have pretty much the same ideas about morality. They all just have different stories and ideas for where morality originated from. The Bible paints non-Jews and non-Christians as a bunch of murderous evil-doers. Now I'm learning that they really aren't that bad, and in most cases are more tolerant of different people, lifestyles, cultures, and belief systems. It's really funny to find out how common virgin birth stories, flood stories, and creation stories are between the different religions. It's really too bad that my psychology of religion class got canceled this semester. Until next time: Peace, love, respect, and whatever gets you there. August 09 End of Summer and Start of My Junior YearWell I finished up my third summer here at the grand ol' Air Force Academy. In the last few days of Ops AF, I managed to tag along on a tanker mission to Hawaii. We started with a straight shot from New Jersey to Oahu island Hawaii. The flight was ten hours long and I am pretty sure that I slept for at least nine of them. We spent just over a day in Hawaii which gave me a chance to see the USS Arizona memorial at Pearl Harbor, spend a few hours on the beach, and drive along the coast with a couple other cadets. Early the next morning I helped load a few tons of cargo onto our jet until we were just 4,000 lbs short of max takeoff weight (max is 590,000 lbs). When that was done we flew six hours to Luke AFB in Arizona acting as a mobile gas station for 6 F-16's (fighter jets). It was pretty cool to watch them fly so close to us while our plane extended a boom (it's a big pole that connects to the receiver to pass gas) right into a receiver on their plane. We stayed about three days in Arizona because of a minor electrical problem then went back to New Jersey. Two nights later I was back at the academy again. I still don't think my body knows which timezone it's in. Last night, there was a big dinner for every junior at the Air Force Academy to celebrate a special occasion. For me that occasion will occur in one hour. The first class I go to today will kick off my junior academic year. By going to that class, I will be legally agreeing with the Air Force that I will spend two more years at the academy, graduate, and serve at least five years as an officer afterward. I expected to be a bit nervous about the fact that I am making such a hefty commitment, but that has not been the case. Instead I feel a calm sort of happy confidence that I made the right choice. Coming in, I wasn't sure that I would mesh with the military lifestyle and the fact that one day I might be personally responsible for killing somebody, or many sombodies for that matter. In the past few years, I've been trying to figure out where I stand spiritually and religiously and part of that was wondering whether I could agree with killing somebody who --just like me-- will believe that they are doing the right thing. I've thought about it long and hard and I know it won't be easy if/when I'm ever in that situation. I know it sounds too simple, but in the words of General T. Michael Moseley (Chief of Staff USAF) "Some folks just need killin'." I'm excited about the next two years I have here at the academy, and I'm looking forward to working in "the real Air Force" after that. I think I've figured out the morality of killing, for myself anyway. I figure that it's most important to have a damn good reason for killing. Killing should never be the goal, but only the means. I also believe that you shouldn't kill for anything that you wouldn't be willing to die for. So if you look at Iraq right now, we're killing a few people because it will keep thousands others safe. Hopefully, it will also allow those people to live freely. You might believe that the war in Iraq is just for oil. You might believe that it's a conspiracy since they never found WMD's. You might believe that it's a total waste of money, and more importantly, lives. But the fact is that most Iraqis are damn happy that we're there. We are doing great things for entire nations. To do those things it is necessary to kill bad guys, but I believe that if we do it right, we can help it become a more peaceful area. People at the academy give me a hard time for wearing a bracelet with a peace sign on it. They call me a hippie because I tell them that I love everybody. And that's fine. I think it's important to remember why we're killing people. We shouldn't want to kill, but we should accept that sometimes it is a necessary step. We don't help the good guys to kill the bad ones. It's the other way around. I came to the academy because freedom is the most important thing to me. It's so important to me that I'm willing to give mine up to make sure that other people can keep theirs. I salute the flag so others can burn it. I guess I'll wrap it up with a quote because whatever you say, someone else has usually said it better. "I do not agree with what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." -Voltaire July 25 Ops Air Force: Year TwoWell right now I'm in the middle of my second summer of Ops Air Force. This is a program where the Academy ships cadets out to various Air Force bases around the world so we can get a taste of active duty life. It can be a bit strange at times because we are just cadets who are here for three weeks so we don't have any sort of qualifications to do anything, but at the same time they can't just cut us loose either. So what usually happens is that we wander around a squadron helping out with odd jobs and eavesdropping on conversations between members of the "real Air Force." It can be a good time and it can be a big time bore once in a while. So far this summer has been pretty good. I'm at McGuire Air Force Base in New Jersey and I'm working with a KC-10 squadron. The KC-10 is a tanker, which means it acts like a flying gas station. It can also carry quite a bit of cargo so it's a very versatile plane.
Monday, I got to tag along on a local mission over the great lakes. Two pilots were taking their check rides, which essentially means that they were getting graded by other, more experienced pilots. They do this once a year to make sure that nobody develops bad habits. While we were over the great lakes, we met a KC-135 (another tanker) and received some gas from them. It was pretty neat to fly so close to another plane and actually have a long pole extend down, connect to us, and hear the gas flowing in. Tomorrow I'm going to hop on another flight. This one will be a mission to Hawaii escorting a few fighters. As we're flying I'll get to see them come up to us for gas a few times and then I'll get to spend a day in Hawaii. I'm pretty excited.
Another cool thing about this summer is that McGuire is pretty close to everything. If I want to go to New York, I just have to ride a train for a bit over an hour and I'm there. Last week we went up a few times including a trip up on Friday night to see a Broadway show. We scored tickets to Les Mizerables for about $65 (I love military discounts). At first I was pretty apprehensive to spend that much to see a play I knew nothing about, but I figured that I probably won't get a whole lot of chances in my life to see a Broadway show so I might as well go for it. The fact that I went to a Broadway show --a musical no less-- might surprise some of you. It even surprises me. What's more surprising though is that I really enjoyed it. I've never really gotten into the refined lifestyle. I'd rather look at an amateur photograph than a piece of modern art. I think that Picasso was a schmuck. And I prefer classic rock over classical music. The long and short of it was that I expected to regret spending 3 hours to see a musical even more than I regretted spending $65 in one night in New York. But much to my surprise, the show was awesome. I don't expect that I'll see another play any time soon, but I had a great time.
Here, we're also pretty close to the beach. I guess that there's one about 30 miles East of us, but I haven't checked it out myself. On Sunday I went with a couple of guys to Ocean City. It was about a two hour drive but one of the guys with us had some family there. We spent a whole afternoon just lying around on the beach. Actually, I guess we only spent about half of that lying around, and the other half of that in the most interesting near death experience I've ever had. When we first go to the beach, I started digging a hole because that's what I like to do at the beach. Don't ask me why because I don't really know. At any rate I started digging and before long, I had a hole that was deep enough and big enough for me to sit in. Of course this gave me the brilliant idea to bury myself in the sand. I did this with the eager help of the other cadets that were there with me. We took a few pictures and we all had a good time. I had to keep taking deep breaths and puffing out my chest to make sure that the sand didn't get packed in too tight for me to breathe.
After I had been completely buried for a while I figured it was time to get out and proceeded to do so. At least I tried to get out. When you have wet sand packed in around you up to your neck, it's pretty hard to move anything enough to get out. It took a while but I finally got my arms free and started to clear the sand away from the rest of my body. It quickly became an uphill battle because the tide was coming in and waves were washing sand back in as quickly as I could dig it out. Some helpful bystander came over with a shovel to help out which was kind of him. The downside is that he sprinted over so everybody else though it was an emergency. Within minutes I had concerned beach go-ers swarming around me trying to dig me out. By the time I got out, everything below my knees had fallen asleep and I had a bit of trouble walking. This just freaked people out more. I knew I was all right but many other people thought my situation was much more serious. One guy told me to make sure I drank some orange juice or something and warned me that people can die from losing circulation in their legs. A concerned mom told me to make sure I went to the hospital if I didn't feel okay. She even went on about a special she had seen on "Oprah" about kids dying in freak accidents on the beach. Now I appreciate their concern but to be fair, I was just buried in sand. It wasn't particularly hot out, and I was probably only buried for about a half hour total. Thanks for your help digging me out but I'm not going to die from a little bit of sand. Within five minutes I had feeling back in my legs and we decided to go out for lunch to get a break from concerned parents and death by beach. Maybe I'll try the same think in Hawaii and see what happens.
Overall, I am having a great time on Ops this year. I'm working in the squadron more than I did last year so I'm getting a pretty good experience of the active duty Air Force. I have more neat stuff nearby than last year so my weekends are turning out to be a lot more fun. I'm even headed to Hawaii soon so I'll be sure to have a grand old time there too. I'm sorry I don't have any pictures to share this time, but I'll try to take a few good ones soon. Hope you're all having a cool summer too. July 15 Car Progress @ The End of My SummerMy 3 weeks of summer have come to a close. Right now I am back at school waiting to get shipped over to New Jersey. Before I left home, my dad and I managed to get the entire car stripped down to its bare bones. We pounded out dents, removed all of the old wiring, sanded off a ton of rust, replaced some worn out parts, patched some holes, sanded, primered, sanded, primered, sanded some more, and primered for (hopefully) the last time. My dad sprayed a bunch of black streaks all over the last coat of primer as a guide coat. It will help show any remaining high and low spots when we sand it for (hopefully) the last time. When we're done it will be smooth as a baby's butt. After all that primering, we shot a bit of paint on it too. We got some single stage auto paint to cover all of the minor areas of the car that won't be very visible. Single stage paint is mixed so that after you paint it once, the finish will already be glossy. Normal paint has two stages: a base coat and a clear coat, which makes it shine more and makes it more durable. If you're just painting the trunk or door jams, that's not really necessary though so that's why we went with the single stage. At first, the paint was a bit more "whoa crap green" than I was going for so I took it back and had them darken it a bit for me. I took a shot of the "whoa crap green" hood but in the pictures it's pretty hard to tell how loud the first color was. After we painted all of the inside of everything, we put the wiring in. None of it is hooked up yet, but it's in so that I can have someone do the interior while I'm gone. There are still a few small black things like the horns and the radiator holder that need to be sanded down and repainted. While I'm gone my dad said he's going to try to strip the interior trim and the dash down and repaint the woodgrain finish on them. Hopefully, the guy I've been talking to about doing my interior can get started while I'm gone so that when I get back at the beginning of the school year I just need to finish some sanding and painting, then pick up my chrome and drive. There's a lot of hopefully in that so we'll see how it goes. But after working on my car for almost every waking moment over 3 weeks I'm ready for a break. Hello New Jersey. July 08 My Car Is In Primer!This may not seem like a very big deal to many of you, but it is in fact a big time milestone. This means that for the most part, the body work is done, the rust is gone, and everything that needs to be dis-assembled has been. From here, my dad and I just need to do a lot more sanding and primering to smooth out all of the little scratches from grinding and pounding on my car. Then we can paint it. Once it's painted, I'll put in my new electrical system and give it to somebody to be re-upholstered. While it's being re-upholstered I'll have somebody else replate all of the chrome that's dinged up and/or pitted. Then I'll put the chrome on and I'll have one hell of a car. It sounds like there's a lot of work left, but I'd say that my dad and I are mostly done with what we're going to do.
I'm really glad that I decided to get a car that was already in running condition because if we had to fix mechanical things while we were working on everything else, I don't think we'd be nearly as far as we are now. I wish that I would have done some more thinking on my car expenses before I bought it so I would know what I was in for budget-wise. I guess I can't kick myself too much though because I didn't really have any idea how to figure out numbers for the things my car needed. Originally I guestimated a certain number to get the interior replaced, a certain number for paint, and a certain number for mechanical stuff. When I finish, I think I'll pay about triple what I expected for interior, half what I expected for paint, about double or triple for mechanical stuff and random expenses.... Then I have to add in the re-chroming that I completely forgot about at first and buy some big time white-wall tires.
June 20 The Bible: What I ThinkI just finished the Bible. A couple years ago, I got tired of everyone telling me what the Bible said and never knowing who was full of crap. I decided that the only way to figure it out for sure would be to read it myself and figure it out. I picked a pace that I knew I could keep, and that would give me time to think about what I had read: a chapter a day. I started with one of those tiny pocket sized ones that people hand out on sidewalks all the time. Since it just had the New Testament in it, I started there. But soon I realized that I didn't agree with it. I figured that was because I didn't have enough background information to really understand it, so after reading up through Romans I decided that I needed to start at the beginning. I got a Catholic Bible from my mom and began reading Genesis. I think that I got my current Bible while I was on Deuteronomy. My current one has a lot of questions in the margin and answers from theologians. For big questions they'll have a short article providing explanation. If you're interested, it's called the Quest Study Bible. I am very glad that I decided to read it straight through in order. It really shows how things change and develop over time. At first God was always getting pissed at his chosen ones. Things would be going fine, then they'd get into the idol worship and he'd smite them. Some kingdom would conquer the Jews and enslave them for a few hundred years until they repented. Then God would help them overcome and kill all of their oppressors and things would be fine again. I lost count of how many times this cycle repeated itself in the old testament. Eventually the new testament comes along and the Gospels portray Jesus as a really cool dude who got along with everybody and preached love and forgiveness. That works for me. John seems to go on a lot more about Jesus' divinity than the other gospels. It was surprising to me that the earliest gospel was written no earlier than 55 AD and Jesus was supposed to have died and risen in 30 AD. After the gospels, the apostle Paul wrote most of the New Testament. I don't like Paul. Personally, I feel that he missed the point. Instead of sticking to Jesus' message of love, Paul writes letters to fellow believers and new churches preaching separation. He was all for excommunication people when they screwed up. He also preached that God commanded women to remain silent in church, and remain as submissive to their husbands as the church is to God. He not only says this but follows it immediately with "what I am writing to you is the Lord's command." (1 Tim 2:11 and 1 Corinthians 14:34-37). Personally, I think that the most important passage in the Bible is when Jesus says to love your neighbor as yourself. (Sorry I which passage that is). That leads me into my next topic. There are some parts of the Bible that I flat out don't like. Take the book of Job for example. Basically, the devil walks up to God and bets that God's believers aren't that faithful. God essentially says, go screw that guy Job over and you'll see that he's still loyal to me. The devil does loads of horrible things to Job from destroying all of his possessions, to killing his family, to getting him excommunicated and scorned by other believers. Job remains loyal, but at one point asks for an explanation which really pisses God off. To me, this comes across as a pissing contest between God and the devil where Job loses big time for being a good guy. Another part that I don't like is the fact that God tells the Jews to go wherever they want and kill everybody in their way because they're his chosen people and they've been promised a land of milk and honey. I'm sorry but I can't favor any religion that gave it's people a blanket pass to kill everybody outside of their group in the name of their Deity. I apologize if I come across as cynical about the Bible. I think it has some very good ideals in it. My main problem is that when a religion emphasizes how wrong everybody else is, it tends to damn more people than it can ever save. If you ever read the gospel of Thomas, which is not in modern Bibles, it present Jesus in a much different light. It presents him as more of a wise man who explained a very deep understanding of morality. It also presents the idea of divinity differently, suggesting that Jesus expected other people to understand his teachings even better than him and that divinity is a much more universal characteristic. In fact, the gospel of Thomas is very Buddhist feeling. The long and short of it is that I think the important stuff from the Bible, is just the idea of loving everybody and treating them well. I think the resurrection, like many other parts of the Bible, is best understood in a figurative sense rather than literal. I think that when Jesus called himself the "son of man" a lot, he was trying to emphasize that he was just an ordinary guy. I think Christianity is great as long as people can realize that not everyone else wants to share their religion. If we can all just get along, I don't think it's important what your name or perception of Divinity is. I'm also reading the Nag Hammadi Library which is a bunch of literature that the early orthodox church declared heresy. I'm about a third through it so far and it's interesting to say the least. After that, I think I'll start on the Quran, and I'm not sure where I'll go from there. Maybe if I'm feeling really crazy, I'll read the Book of Mormon. I guess I should close by saying that I've been in quite a few religious debates. If you want to convert me, please leave me alone. Your conviction is great, but if you believe that your religion is undeniably true, I'm sure that in my research I will see that too. If I find that to be the case, I'll jump on the bandwagon. Heck, the Bible even warns against silly religious debates. 2 Tim 2:23-24 (yeah, I know it's written by Paul) says "Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone..." June 11 More Car StuffI spent last weekend working on my car again. I'm really happy that I got the headliner out because that was intimidating me and having it out now will make it a lot easier to do some body work and redo the wiring. I now have my car stripped of all fabric innards. I've also stripped out most of the trim from the inside. The trim has a nifty woodgrain pattern painted on it, but it's pretty sorry looking after 55 years so I'm stripping it off and my dad's working on figuring out how to redo it. Now I just need someone to start reupholstering my seats and whatnot while I continue working on the mechanical and body stuff. The new thing that's intimidating me is the wiring. There are just so many wires in a car that I don't know what to do with myself. I've also decided to complicate that for myself by switching everything over to 12 volt instead of 6 volt. In working on my car, I also learned how to mix up bondo (body filler), spread it, shape it, and sand it. At least, I think I did. My dad was gone for the weekend and I just kinda gave it a shot. I guess that I'll find out how well I did when I have him check it over for me. I went on to start cleaning up the floor a bit so I can put new undercoating on it, which will give me a really durable finish. In cleaning up the floor though, I found some new rust holes that will need attention. I think I might be chopping another piece out of my floor and doing some more welding. I got the hole in the driver side patched up and it came out pretty well. I don't have any pictures because of my most recent work because I forgot my camera last weekend. I do have some pictures from last weekend that I haven't loaded yet because I've been lazy. There are some shots of the trim with the woodgrain pattern and with the pattern sanded off. There's also a shot of the instrument panel, which I have now dismantled and some of the body work. Enjoy. June 01 Electrical Fires and other funPart of my ongoing car project is to pretty much replace the entire electrical system. I'd like to do this for a few reasons. Since the car was made in the 50's, all of the wires have cloth insulation instead of rubber. And since this wiring is about 55 years old, some of the cloth is rotting and falling off of the wires. This presents the rather unpleasant circumstance of many bare wires throughout my vehicle. To be frank, the electrical system scares me because it would be way too easy for a couple of these bare wires to cross resulting in some very unpredictable behavior. I would also like to switch the electrical system from 6 volts to 12 volts. This will be handy because if I ever need to buy parts such as light bulbs, they'll be a lot easier to find. If I ever want to put a cd player or something in my car, I'll need a 12 volt power source. The electrical system right now doesn't have any fuses, so a short anywhere in the car could be VERY VERY BAD. A 12 volt battery will make the starter turn over faster so I won't have to crank the ignition for as long. And lastly, if I ever needed a jump start in a 6 volt car, I'd be pretty screwed. I read an account of a guy who tried to jump start his old Desoto (6 volts) with his 12 volt truck and fried the whole electrical system. Anyway, in switching the system from 6 to 12 volts, I need to figure out the resistance of each of my electrical gages, and put the same resistance in series with them to cut the voltage in half. Last weekend I was trying to pull out the gages to measure them and I saw a few wisps of smoke. I saw that the light I was using was leaned up against the gas pedal and figured that it was starting to melt the plastic so I moved it. A few seconds later I caught a big wiff of smoke and looked over to see clouds of it billowing out from behind the dash. I also heard a faint crackle like something was on fire. I ran up to the battery and disconnected the cables, because I figured it was an electrical fire and I needed to stop it from getting worse. Luckily, disconnecting the battery kept anything from catching on fire. I still don't know quite what happened but I'm sure I'll figure it out when I replace all that old crappy wiring. Over the weekend I also continued the ongoing task of removing all of the chrome from my car. I tackled the hood and got it stripped down. I think the front of my car looks like a whale feeding on plankton now because it's got a big gaping air intake that looks like a mouth and the headlights look like eyes. Well that's enough about my car for now. I've posted a picture of the front end whale mouth of an intake and some of the old and new electrical stuff. The 30th was graduation. It was interesting to see so many people I know throw their hats in the air and pin on officer rank. It's pretty weird to think that I'm a junior in college now. I'm half way through the Air Force Academy. I'm now officially allowed to own and maintain a car at school. I'm now responsible (in part) for running the show in the cadet wing. And in under two years, I'll get to throw my white hat in the air as 6 F-16's rocket past overhead especially for my classmates and me. I'll get to shake hands with the vice president when he hands me my diploma. I'll go on to a 60 day paid vacation to wherever I feel like going (I'll probably tour Europe with a few friend). I'll be a United States Air Force Academy graduate. I don't think that I can ever come close to telling you how great it feels just to realize that. I'm also looking forward to this summer. I'll start out by working summer seminar. It's like a week long camp for kids who want to come to the academy so they can see what it's like. I'm excited because as much as this place gets to me sometimes, I love it here. It'll be nice to show people around who dream of coming to my school, especially since they are pretty close to making that dream happen. I know a few of the folks I'll be working with and I'm sure it'll be a great experience. |
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